My step-son got married last year; my son is getting married next year. I've found myself pondering on the nature of relationships, in particular how a woman chooses a man. It seems to me that when women seek a life partner there may
be an unconscious testing process that goes on.
She is looking for someone who is capable enough to look
after her and her family when the babies are small; wise enough to provide
support and guidance when she needs it; empathetic enough to listen and
understand her concerns; and strong enough to match her and hold her in check
when necessary. The first three of these are probably conscious desires and she
can look at the evidence to see if her man is doing the necessary. The last one
is not.
My belief is that a woman subconsciously puts her man
through a trial of strength to see if he is stronger than her – that is what
she is looking for. Someone who can match her energy, contain her desires,
stand up for himself in a fight but not hurt her physically or emotionally, who
knows what he wants, and, to put it bluntly, will not put up with her shit. She
is unconsciously testing him, and can become bossy, demanding and sometimes
downright bitchy. Unbeknown to both parties, she is not wanting him to defer,
she is wanting him to say ‘Enough!’ to hold her and say ‘I respect you, and you
need to respect me too’. Then she can relax, knowing she has made the right
choice.
