Manhood

I've spent the last seven Mondays in a young offenders' institution piloting the a behaviour change programme called 'Silence the Violence' brought in from South Africa. It was an emotional journey for all of us.

At the awards ceremony the boys told the deputy governor and other staff what they had learned. One of them summarised it like this:

A male is someone who can make a baby.
A man is someone who brings that baby up.

From boys who had been badly let down by their fathers this was pure gold.

Volunteering

I'm convinced that the way to create what we want and need in our communities is not by complaining about what governments – local and national – are not providing, but by coming together and creating what we want ourselves.

If the council provides a youth club / sports club / social club / drop in – that's great. But if it doesn't, and that's what the community needs, it just takes two or three committed people to get the ball rolling.

This is not about needing people with qualifications and training, it's about having people with a good heart and lots of enthusiasm. And the good news is that a voluntary group is not subject to changing funding priorities so, as long as finances are kept simple, is in control of its own destiny.

When people take charge of their own destiny they grow. It may take time and seem like hard work at times, but most volunteers get as much out as they put in, by seeing the difference they make to their community. When the feel good factor wears off it's time to hand the baton on to others, and if you make volunteering part of the culture of the organisation, there will always be someone else to take over.

Creating Safer Communities for All           Spring 2009 

Our Aim is for Leighton Buzzard to be a place where:
➢ there is a sense of community that allows everyone to feel safe
➢ young people feel recognised, valued, respected and catered for
➢ adults feel respected by young people

**************************************************************************
TWO NEW YOUTH CLUBS IN LEIGHTON BUZZARD
The new youth club at Pages Park opened on 28th January. It is in the pavilion on Wednesdays from 6.30 to 8.30 pm. Huge thanks to parents Toni Smith and Julie Wilks and teachers Phil Chaffey and Kieran Dell for making this happen, and to the police and councillors for helping with the funding. As the nights get lighter and the children can use the courts behind the pavilion for games we could do with some more volunteers, so if you would like to help out on an occasional or regular basis contact Toni on 07908-173073.
We now have a template for setting up a club, so if you would like to see a youth club in your neighbourhood we’d be pleased to tell you how it’s done!

Bedfordshire Youth Service has refurbished the youth centre on Vandyke Road. The youth club at Leighton Buzzard Youth Centre is for Year 8 and above on Thursday evenings from 7.00 – 10.00 pm.
The centre also offers sessions in Manga art (Japanese cartoons), dodge ball and street dance, and provides meeting space for young parents, Connexions, the Autism Bedfordshire youth club and the Youth Cabinet. More activities are planned for later in the year.

*************************************************************************
WIMPEY CONTRIBUTES TO BORED LADS
It’s good to have examples of how the safer community philosophy works - here’s a story from one of our members:
“My father-in-law worked for Wimpey up at the Pages Priory development. There was a group of young lads who were knocking about the site, causing a few minor problems. Instead of confronting them and being negative, he spoke with them and realised they just had nothing to do and were bored. He managed to liaise with the management at Wimpey and negotiated a small fund to pay for a football goal. As a result the boys were as good as gold and didn’t cause any more trouble.”

SAFER COMMUNITIES INVOLVE PEOPLE FROM EVERY GENERATION
Over 200 people have attended talks for parents put on by the extended schools service. These have been about boys, teenagers and raising confident children (see next page for future dates). It’s been lovely to have grandparents in the audience, as their experience can bring a different perspective to bringing up children. In fact the older generation is vital to the project of creating a safer community for everyone in our town. Not only do older people have the wisdom and experience that only comes with age, but they are also likely to spend more time in the community and live at a slower, saner pace. This means they have time to get to know the youngsters on their street, pass the time of day with them as they grow up, pass on knowledge and skills, and give them a sense of community. When children feel they are part of a community and are treated as though they matter, they develop a sense of loyalty and responsibility to that community that benefits us all.

EVENTS

Confident Children with Lucinda Neall on helping children develop into caring, capable and confident people will be held at the following schools starting at 7.00 pm:

Wednesday, 20th May at Leighton Middle School
Wednesday, 3rd June at Heathwood Lower School
Wednesday, 17th June at Brooklands Middle School
Monday, 29th June at Stanbridge Lower School

CYCLE TRAINING
GoCycle are putting on a series of Bikeability sessions: alvina.farrow@leightonlinslade-tc.gov.uk 01525 635 111

Contact:    Lucinda Neall     01525-220846     lucinda@neallscott.co.uk     www.aboutourboys.com 

A Good Childhood

This month the Children's Society published its report on childhood in the UK, A Good Childhood – Searching for Values in a Competitive Age.  Noting that the UK comes out poorly in studies of child welfare compared to other developed countries (except the United States), it looks for the causes and solutions to the problem. It concludes that in recent decades family and community values have weakened and the void has been filled with excessive individualism, with everyone being encouraged to go for their own happiness and success, without thought for those around them. This pursuit of 'happiness' has led to a decline in trust in society, a reduced sense of community, and increases in conflict and separation in families. 

The report does not shy away from talking about the values we need. This is its concluding paragraph: 

So it is possible to construct a modern society in which there are higher levels of child well-being than in Britain. The key is an ethic in which we care more for each other. As the psychological evidence shows, this yields a double benefit – other people treat us better and we feel better from helping them. It is a world like this, built on the law of love, that we should create with our children.

The Law of Love –  I like that.

An uplifting day

It started with a meeting with two mums who decided last spring that they wanted to set up a youth club – everything is in place for it to open next week. Later I watched Barack Obama's inauguration on TV.

This evening I was invited to a meeting of Cheddington Youth Council – a group of teenagers who want to make their village a better place to live. The two main things on their agenda were how to raise money for a skate park and how to get mutual respect between the generations. 

Can individuals make a difference? Yes we can!    

Reflections of a boy biker

I did everything I could to fit into any gang that would have me in the 70’s. Long hair, unwashed, jeans full of holes, leather jacket with studs and a 750cc Triumph Bonneville motorcycle with extra loud exhaust pipes. I left school at 16 with poor grades from my exams but managed to talk my way into a job. Today my friends are mostly university professors or company directors. Punk Rock is a major feature on our iPods, we exchange old stories of teenage sex, drugs, parties and run-ins with the police that surprise most kids today, mostly because that is not what they would expect of “successful” adults.

That suggests two things two me:
1)  You never know who these boys could become.
2)  They never know who they could become.

I got a couple of breaks. An older prototype wireman at an electronics firm I worked for had been a motorcyclist and his son a drug addict. He was tough but compassionate. He never judged me for my lifestyle, he never acted like a parent, he bought me beer when I was underage and told me obscene jokes whilst teaching me the trade. It was my first real adult relationship.

At the same company the Technical Director gave me my big chance. He had been a motorcyclist and a 60’s “Rocker” enjoying fighting with the Teds on Brighton seafront. He did not see me as just another oik on a motorbike. He saw me as a comrade to join him in an internal company revolution to improve business process's and quality control. He became my next mentor and I have never looked back.

Thank you Doug “Mac” McWilliams and John Freeman of Audix Ltd for some of the most critical experiences of my life between 1978 and 1984.

James Carroll
Founder & CEO THOR Photomedicine Ltd http://www.thorlaser.com
Fellow Royal Society of Medicine
Assoc Member Institute of Physics

The downturn may help build community

The up-side of the economic downturn is that we are being forced to reassess our priorities and look at our values. This may push us to focus on truly important things like family, friends and our community. 

My hope is that we may come out of this downturn not only with a bit of sanity in how our financial institutions are run (and even how much our footballers are paid), but also a realisation that people are more important than material things. 

By taking the time to relate to each other as human beings, instead of dwelling on our fears and worries, we will see the best in others and hopefully build a stronger sense of community.